In our first discussion of prayer, talked about how humility is the starting point for prayer – how it is in humility that prayer can flourish and grow. There are many opinions about how you should pray - how often, how long, what position, what words should be used, the use of Scripture in prayer and on and on. There is a place for all these discussions - we will be discussing some of these topics in the future. But prior to getting bogged down in method and technique, we have to understand the true heart of prayer. And before we discuss how we should pray, we are going to discuss the topic of how not to pray.

IN my own prayer life - and in the lives of those I talk with - I find at least two misconceptions about what prayer is. Three pitfalls of prayer that develop by having the wrong ideas of what prayer is and how we are to pray.

One of the first heresies to plague the church was the heresy of legalism – the belief that we as human beings can do things that will merit salvation – that we can, through our own righteousness, somehow deserve the rewards of God.

Legalism has probably tainted every pure doctrine of the church – from baptism to the second coming. And prayer has not escaped either.

Perhaps the most common misconception of prayer is that it is a task we are to do – a box we are to check off on our list of godly tasks. Sometimes we treat prayer to God as we treat prayer as an obligation – we pray because we are commanded to pray. And like almost every other area corrupted by legalism, the statement itself is true – we are commanded to pray. But if we pray simply because we are commanded, we will not be achieving the results of prayer God intended.

Some people pray to God as a soldier salutes a superior officer - less out of thought or purpose than out of a sense of duty and requirement. There isn't intentional forethought in the action. It is merely a conditioned response.

But prayer is, as we have already said, conversation with God. When we pray to God simply because we are commanded, we are avoiding the entire point of prayer in the first place. Prayer is to be an interchange with God - a sharing of our needs and concerns and joys with the one who loves us - not some automatic response of blind habit.

Along the same line, or some people, prayer becomes an end in itself - praying makes us feel better - more godly or more holy. Rather, prayer is a way to communicate. We must not confuse the method with the master. We fall into the same trap in Bible study when knowledge of the Bible takes the place of our thirst for God - we end up worshipping the Book of God rather than the God of the Book.

While it is important for us to develop regular patterns of prayer - habits of time and place - that allow prayer to become a routine part of our lives. But a careful line must be drawn so that in our efforts to create godly habits, we don't create meaningless rituals. Prayer is not an end in itself - it is a means to an end - the means to converse and communicate with God.

Any attempt to boil prayer down to techniques or memorized habits breaks down when we turn to the prayers of Scripture. In one of Jesus' parables, two men go to the temple to pray. One man, a Pharisee, is well-versed in religious language and ritual, but his heart is far from God. The other man is a much-despised taxman, who has no religious sophistication, but who does have a strong sense of his own guilt before God. He simply murmurs, "God, be merciful to me, a sinner." Jesus said, "I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God." Prayer is clearly more of a posture and attitude before God than a correct way of doing or saying things.

Prayer can never be made to work simply by pushing the right buttons or saying the right phrases or assuming the correct position. No human relationship works on this level and neither does our relationship with God.

A second misconception about how to pray is to treat prayer as if it were magic. Now, we don't commonly use that term, but if we're honest about how some people pray (and about how most of us have probably prayed at some time in our own lives), we'll admit that often we treat prayer as a magical incantation.

The use of "magical" prayers is another sign of our distance from God. It is very easy for prayer to become of kind of magical device which we attempt to use to get our own way. Some uses of "magical" prayers are more obvious than others. We've probably all seen devoted Catholics pray using votive candles or Jews inserting bits of paper with scrawled prayer requests in the Wailing Wall or heard of charismatic believers who speak in tongues in prayer and believe that such prayers are somehow more holy than prayers uttered in understandable language.

But there are more subtle uses of prayer as magic. Many of us in America have come to believe that God truly wants us to be healthy and wealthy - and that through prayer, we can be protected from disease, disaster and poverty. So many of our prayers are filled with phrases that often sound like magical incantations - "guide, guard and direct us", "provide a ready recollection", and on and on. These are less of thoughtful petitions to God than they are memorized chants we use to invoke God as a wizard would some spirit.

Sometimes, we use magical prayers as a way to avoid responsibility. WE think that if we are spreading gossip, anointing the gossip by calling is prayer requests will nullify our sin. Or perhaps instead of helping a person when they ask, we say we'll have to pray about it first - are we seeking to avoid our own responsibilities as Christians by invoking God in prayer?

These are at least two ways in which we can pray that are wrong. I know there are many others. Because of these misconceptions, many people see prayer as forbidding, daunting obstacle in their Christian life because it requires special knowledge or good speaking skills or talent.

But prayer isn't like that at all. It's not some difficult ritual that requires special learning or advanced biblical knowledge. Nor is it some sort of magical incantation requiring us to speak in tongues or to utter special phrases.

We're already laid the groundwork for prayer in the previous lesson by saying all real prayer begins with humility before God. Now I want to give you lessons in the beginning of godly, biblical prayer.

This is absolutely basic, but is easy to forget. It's easy to fall into the view of prayer as either something we "do" or as some kind of magic. But we must continually focus on God in our prayers - He is the goal of prayer - not obtaining some special feeling in prayer or praying for special periods of time, but coming into His presence and bowing before Him. This is the goal of prayer - to put us in His presence.

The OT prophet Jeremiah recognized that prayer can never be half-hearted. He expressed it this way: "'You seek me and find me,' says the Lord, 'when you seek me with all your heart.'"

Jesus can't simply be a guest in your heart on Sundays. To allow him into our hearts means to surrender our entire lives to him - on the job, in our homes, at school, everyday and everywhere.

If we are truly seeking to know Christ and to be like him, our perspective on prayer must change. If we are seeking to manipulate God - using magical prayers - our prayer life is focused on getting God to do things for us. Now, petitions in prayer are right and have their place, but if we are seeking to use God for our purposes rather than have God use us for His, we will fail in prayer. The person who understands God's ultimate purpose for each of us is to make us like Jesus will realize that their prayers are more about letting God have his way with us that getting God to things for us.

Ignatius of Loyola, who sought to have an undivided heart before God, prayed in this way:

The third thing to keep in mind as you pray is that prayer is not an isolated practice in our lives as believers. It is a part of a larger picture. In order to grow in prayer, we must grow in our knowledge of God - through His Word, through fellowship with his people, through the experience of his creation. Most important of these is immersion in God's word. Real prayer goes hand-in-hand with discovering the truth of God in the Bible. As we saturate ourselves in the Bible's teachings and attitudes, we become "biblical people". Like the writers of the Psalms, we discover that the Bible relates to all the moods, emotions and circumstances of our lives.

Second to the Bible in assisting us in prayer are our brothers and sisters, living and dead, and what they can teach us of God and of experiencing him through prayer. Spend time in prayer with others. Spend time reading the writings of the great saints of the past who have tread the mountains of God in prayer.

Another recommendation to help in prayer is fasting and solitude. As we'll see in future studies, Jesus practiced both - as did most of the saints of the Scriptures - in their prayer lives. Devoting time to God while depriving ourselves can have great power. And spending time alone in vital to developing our prayer lives.

These are practical suggestions. Avoiding the plagues of ritualistic, meaningless prayer; and the attitude that seeks to manipulate God are vital to a right prayer life. Remembering that God is the purpose and goal of prayers; that the intent of prayer is to be fully submitting to the likeness of Jesus in every part of our lives; and that prayer has to fold itself into a complete lifestyle of discipleship are key elements to godly prayer.